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A child’s guide to the office

There is a popular children's book series called Hello Ruby by Finnish author Linda Liukas. It teaches kids to think like programmers.

Since programming is dead (granted, thinking like a programmer might not be), we need some new books to get kids ready for their potential future. At least I believe office jobs will exist for a couple more decades.

Few such books describe corporate jobs, so kids get no edge. Children are taught how to think about computers. Adults are left to find out how a company thinks by getting it wrong.

The most valuable thing in a company is talking. Sure, you can argue there is too much talk, and if talking doesn't lead to action, it is wasted. Much of the business literature is, of course, on how to make talking effective. Regardless, the end goal of working life is to talk, and the more valuable the words that come out of your mouth are, the more valuable you are.

The big boss talks to the very important people: investors, the board, the press, other chief executives. Less important people in the organization talk to less important people. A manager talks to the team and occasionally to the director. The slob at the bottom (you) prompts the computer.

The wonderful thing about children's books is that they say the thing and stop. An elephant has a big trunk, the pig lives on a farm, be friendly to other kids.

So here is what that literature could look like for the office. All share the same message wrapped in different packaging.

Ages 1 to 3

This is Percy. Percy is a parrot. Percy is the chief executive. Percy talks. Talking is the job.

Ages 3 to 12

This is Percy. Percy is still the chief executive. Percy has a lot of meetings, and he is very good at them. In the morning, Percy talks to the birds who work for him. In the afternoon, Percy talks to the birds who buy from him. Percy does not make the thing the company makes.

Ages 12 to 15

This is Percy, and the company is growing. Percy now speaks of alignment. He talks to each executive, then to all of them together, until they say the same thing in the same words. He also talks to the key customers, and he calls these relationships. The key customers talk back, and Percy calls this feedback. Nobody can remember a day when Percy did anything else, and nobody has asked him to.

Ages 15 and up

This is Percy, the chief executive. Percy no longer says that he talks. He shapes the narrative, builds buy-in, and creates clarity for stakeholders. He hires leaders who share the vision, he allocates resources in line with the strategy, and he sets the tone for the culture. It is the same talking, in the best words there are. Percy still believes that the most valuable thing in a company is talking. He has never been more sure of it.

Yeah, yeah, I get it

The last one already sounds nauseating. The grown-up books are thicker and on the business shelf.

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